According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
