just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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