last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
