you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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