yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Randomize
