i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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