Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
