just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
