Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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