so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
