he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
