If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
