Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
