Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
