I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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