Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
