He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize