God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm at about main and main street
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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