ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
