if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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