Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
