Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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