kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
