i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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