$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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