using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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