I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
