She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
