Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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