I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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