Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
