You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
