lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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