if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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