We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
