this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize