When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
