when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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