Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
They have beer where we have blood.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
