Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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