another moral hangover. fuck.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
