Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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