Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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