Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
