I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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