I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize