yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
