fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
