Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
