i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
