Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
