He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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