I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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