you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
