there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
