Whod you bang
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize